Jacki Kane's Blog

Words of wisdom from my son, Steven. TIME OUT is on hiatus for the summer, but we’re already working on next season. We’re going to shake it up and surprise you people. ‘Swear. Meanwhile, we’ve got Uber Clean Open Mic tonight at O’Connors. Sign up at 6:30/start at 7. Come and laugh or take the mic. We’re always looking for moms and dads to take the stage. If you’ve got a sarcasm battery – does it ever need re-charging?

#1 Exactly how much can I make fun of my husband for our next show? Friday, I’m hosting; he’s performing. So I’d better look out – his paybacks are severe. Like this one time, I almost tricked him into going to a Mary Kay for men party. What would he have done? Sent a clown troupe to my office, or worse. Don’t miss him getting me back tomorrow night at the Rad Dads show.

Friday night, June 10th
Curious Comedy Theater
5225 NE MLK
Tix: www.curiouscomedy.org
7:30 doors/8 show

Hosted by yours truly
Featuring new mom performer Diane Ferington & Rad Dads:
Brian Sturkie
Jeffrey Kauffman
Mark Hylland
Rob Katsuno
Stephen Schmidt

#2 My daughter is going all Diva on me. Help. Please post comments:

http://www.kidzlist.com/article/1066/diva-dance

The first comedy class I ever taught is graduating tonight with a live set on the ComedySportz stage TONIGHT:

ROB KATSUNO
COLEEN CARNEY
KAREN MILES

Featuring ComedySportz & Stand Up Pros
ALEX FALCONE
CHRISTOPHER HUIZAR

SO proud of them – they worked really hard. You won’t see any cheese – it will be original material from their lives. No one says, “What’s up with…” So here’s what you do -

Go to the ComedySportz Improv Show at 8 pm and get into Super Clean Comedy Class graduation for free. Tickets: https://www.portlandcomedy.com/reservations/

Attend Super Clean Comedy Class Graduation only for $5 at the door.

1963 NW Kearney St.

I know it’s nice now – but by 8, you’ll need some entertainment.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/

Okay, Arnold and all you other philandering people, I have an assignment for you: WATCH FATAL ATTRACTION. Watch it like 500 times. Then, write a book report. If you haven’t learned anything, do not get married. Do not have kids. Do not knock up a household employee. Not only is it the story of my parents’ marriage, except they were married. To each other. Fatal Attraction should be a mandatory pre-marital, cautionary tale. No way am I buying that pet bunny my daughter wants.

Alert the media: The sun is out in Portland, Oregon. What does it mean? Wait five minutes is what it means. Even the slugs are sunning.

So our annual picnic got thwarted by yet more lame Portland rain. But that’s okay! We stuffed our pie holes with biscuits, and my kids gave me a Mother’s Day card with an inappropriate word. The card DID reference a grammatical error though. Happy MD to all the incredible moms I know. And I know quite a few. Hope you all had a smashing day. To celebrate, your awesomeness, we’re having a special Comedy Lounge show Tuesday night. Here’s the 411:

No one feels more unqualified to be a parent than I do. So I collect stories of positive parenting. This time, I wrote one up about my mom comic friend Nicole. Check it out – you might pick up some tips too!

http://kidzlist.com/article/1046/small-victories-large-victories-they-all-count

Looks like it’s going to be a great audience tonight. I was surprised to learn we still had some tickets left. Get them online at www.curiouscomedy.org or at the door. Show starts at 8/Doors at 7:30. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 MLK. Hope to see you there!

120 chocolate Easter eggs are ready for hunting at Kruger’s Farm on Sauvie’s Island, and I’m going in. I hope a whole bunch of other peeps do the same thing, or we’re talking massive weight gain over here. I WILL eat those eggs. I’m taking my daughter, who is insisting on wearing a white fluffy Easter dress even though we are going in a farm field, not a tea party. They’re also having music, beer and other stuff. Nothing better than going to the island on a day like this. You know, the kind of day when the sun actually shines for longer than five minutes. Here’s the 411:

Easter Egg Hunt 1 pm
Kruger’s on Sauvie’s Island
www.krugersfarmmarket.com

Join us, or the eggs are goin down!

When it comes to short-term memory, I’m like Dory from Nemo. I forget things almost instantly – except all the things I want to forget like first dates gone awry. Feel, then forget, my pain:

http://kidzlist.com/article/1036/what-have-you-forgotten