Weird, weird

Weird that I wrote a small blog today while waiting to see if a shot I got would cause a reaction, but it didn’t post on the site. The shot didn’t cause a reaction. What’s really weird is I thought I’d be stronger. It’s only been two days since Round 1. But I guess things are just going to be weird from now on. My mouth feels like the inside of a latex glove and my body feels like a collapsible toy. I thought that would happen later. The kids are realizing things are going to be weird. Liv was bummed when she realized I probably wouldn’t make it to volunteer at the holiday shop. Steven said the cancer was making him tired. Kids don’t get that it’s not going to be forever. It just feels like such crushing change from our everyday lives. Maybe because it is.

THREE (OR FOUR) POSITIVES FOR TODAY:

1- We are speechless by the support coming in for us. Thank you.

2- Dan at the American Cancer Society office at Good Sam set me up with a nice wig and hat, which is awesome. Wigs are expensive. I did opt-out of the Raquel Welch model, though. Thank you, Dan, for your understanding, information and multi-tasking as wig maker, too.

3- Dr. Jenna was a huge comforting presence for me. I’ve been seeing her for 13 years. She delivered our kids. She’s a total straight shooter.

4- Our dog, Xena, hasn’t left my side.