World’s first overweight cancer patient?

IMG_1515What’s happening to me? Chemo is turning me into a junk food freak. I want everything I’m not supposed to have: Kraft mac n’ cheese, chips and cheese dip, Ruffles and onion dip (Thank you, Lisa and Chris!), and today’s latest, Ramen Noodles. Can you actually GAIN weight on chemo? Look how those oranges in the background are screaming, Bad choice! Eat us! At this rate, I could be ripe for a photo session on peopleofwalmart.com.

Weird Cancer Guy did not get me all day though. I still feel like I swallowed a bag of rocks – and that’s before Lay’s chips. But I did clean up the kitchen, do some laundry and pitch my old Sass Mouth card line to a near identical card company hoping to generate income any way I can. Today, I also played a hide-and-seek cancer game with myself and hid like everything – my new wig, hats, chemo binder and any book with the word CANCER. Sometimes, I want just one minute to feel like this isn’t really happening. But I know it will not define me. For now, my cravings are defining me. If you’ve got Twinkies, better hide ’em. Just kidding, I draw the line at Twinkies.

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5 Replies to “World’s first overweight cancer patient?”

  1. And it’s not like you’re going for the GOOD bad stuff either. There are better chips out there than Lays, but something tells me it isn’t about that right now.

    Oh, and thanks for putting Twinkies on my brain.

  2. Bet there a still some twinkies out there somwhere on some shelf in some remote convenience store. I feel a quest coming on! YUM.

    Hey I have a great idea (well at least I thought it was in Target the other day). Seeing as how I now have 4 friends/family going through cancer, I found myself in Target looking for cards of encouragement. Encouragement cards out there today SUCK. Holy crap Jacki there is a market for this. And Cancer specific ones are really lame. IF you can find one for cancer, it is at least better than the normal cat on a limb “hang in there” card * BUT * they could hit home so much better. I think cards of encouragement written by someone who really truly needs encouragement with a smart-ass sarcastic but yet truthful sense of humor is what is needed in this world today. ENTER SASSMOUTH. Hell – there are so many people out there going through the same things, feelings, fears, side effects you are – and only cancer patients know what those really are. I think people would really gravitate to this card line. Or other treatments too, but you could start with cancer. Recovery is universal – but YOU know the specifics, the feelings, the fears, the side effects. OK you’re probably thinking I’m loco like a chicken right about now, so I’ll just shut up. Think about it though. And go to Target looking for yourself a card – you will see what I mean. LAME-o.
    Love you man,
    DebbaDoo

    1. So interesting you bring this up- seriously thinking of Sass Mouth revival. Thanks for that shot if encouragement. Who in your family is struggling with this?

  3. Sorry for the contribution if junk. I’m on my way over with Brussels sprouts to cancel it out! And, I agree about the cancer card market, it’s seriously lame. You could totally rock it! (Only, crap, then we’d be buying you YOUR cards…)

  4. Hey hon….What’s wrong with a few snacks….I’ve been on them my whole life! Ha. I’ll give you a call later. LY Uber

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