Last night was like “Sleepless in Portland” around here. Steven’s got a bad chest cold, so we were up helping the poor guy. Our phone line is crossed with someone else’s, so we got phantom rings all night. When we pick up the phone, we hear other people’s conversations. But nothing about sex! All I’ve overheard so far is a recipe for organic broccoli. SO Portland. When I got online this a.m., I discovered “Sleepless in Portland” had turned into “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Our friends have been sending money to a website my amazing friend (and Portland headhunter who believed in me since we first met 13 years ago) Jackie Mathys set up for us (http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/friends-of-jacki-kane-breast-cancer-fund/36057). It’s so scary and so real to see our picture on that website – usually we’re the ones overeager to help. It’s just so wildly uncomfortable to accept help. This time, I can’t be stupid and be all like, “Oh no, it’s not necessary. We’ve got this.” All I can do is express my profound gratitude to Jackie Mathys and everyone – whether you donated money, made me a hat (Thank you, Julie Y!), brought us dinner, cheesy magazines (You know who you are, Domenico!) or just gave me a hard time and made me feel closer to normal. I will keep your names. I will send proper thank you notes (My dad is watching. Thank you notes are mandated in our family.) And, I will appreciate your compassion, kindness and friendship forever. Okay, now I’m making myself cry.
Brian’s been walking around looking like he’s carrying a semi across his shoulders. This website is going to help ease his financial fears. He told me last night he’s heartbroken seeing me go through this – but I don’t want him to be! I really don’t. This isn’t that bad. It’s going to suck out loud, but it’s not a death sentence. I’ve got SO many more years in me to mess up the kids. And, tell more jokes. When I got dressed this morning, the first thing in my mind was: “I’m not wearing a bra. So sue me.”