This morning, I woke up feeling like a bee exploded in my eye. It feels worse than it looks though. Plus, the eyelashes are intact. So take that, Weird Cancer Guy. Every morning feels like Wheel of Fortune…Bodily Function Edition. Who knows what you’re going to get? Sometimes to counter the effect of Weird Cancer Guy, I go to the store to feel ordinary. That feeling ends when I get to the check out with three different kinds of water, four different flavors of Gatorade and a valu pack of anti-bacterial wipes. People think I’m doing a sterile taste test.

My thirst is unquenchable, so I’m trying different kinds of water just praying one of them nails it. That’s not ordinary. I miss ordinary, like being able to anticipate what kind of bills are coming in. A clump of medical bills came in today for stuff like “collection of venous blood” and “breast clip.” I don’t remember anyone clipping my breast to something. But it cost $249.31. What really floored me is the cost of my treatments: chemo drugs alone are $6,794.91 + $1,207.00 for administering the chemo drugs. I have deep, deep gratitude for everyone who sent money to help us get through this. I went through every bill without freaking out and consolidated each with the “EOB” Explanation of Benefits from the insurance company. Now I can pay our part of these and still get groceries. Having groceries is a huge part of ordinary. So thanks for that.

THREE POSITIVES:

1- I got to hang out with my pal Heather today, who survived cancer. Always makes me feel better talking to Heather. She’s one of the nicest people on earth. Swear.

2- The pharmacist said, “Were you on Portlandia? I knew it was you!” Oh yeah, I used to do things, like be an extra on Portlandia, do stand-up comedy and public speaking. I’ll get back to it. Right now, it seems like thousands of miles above my head.

3- Liv and I went on a mommy-daughter date to Jade Teahouse. Wish I could bottle moments like that. She’s such a sweetheart girl.

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About clevercopy

Stand-up comedian, professional copywriter and public speaker

2 responses »

  1. Jackie Mathys says:

    How’s that money holding up? I think we need to do another push.

    Jackie Mathys (503) 781-2872

  2. Aunt Les says:

    Hey Jacki! Just catching up with your blog.. you look radiant as ever. That’s no lie, just fact. I was wondering if you’ve ever tried coconut water.. it’s awesome stuff. It might help your thirst. I love the way it tastes and it’s very thirst-quenching! Glad Lar and Chris are coming to see you. Are they there now?? Weather here has been snowy. May have messed up their travel plans.. take care, I’ll be writing more. Just realized this is a blog comment and not an email.. duh! Love ya, Aunt Les

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