Today, we went to see the surgeon to check in on progress and talk about what kind of surgery. She was doing the exam and said she could no longer feel the tumor. WHAA? I took a turn – me either. If some dude was randomly walking down the hall, I would have gotten him to check it out, too. Damn straight the chemo is working. When we first started, the tumor was too big to even have surgery. So YEAH WEIRD CANCER GUY, TAKE THAT! 

Then, we talked plan. From the beginning, I’ve felt like a double mastectomy is the way to go. A lumpectomy is great, but this kind of cancer likes to rush back in. So Barbie boobs it is! I’m very excited about this in a lot of ways. One, I won’t be able to push a vacuum cleaner or cook for like six weeks. Obviously, I’ll have at least 33% perkier boobage. In the TMI department, they might be able to take tissue from my gut (Kick ass!) and salvage existing nipples. Just when I thought there were options, the doctor said you can page through a catalog and pick out the ones you want. A Victoria’s Secret catalog? Brian is a little too excited about this possibility. But if Brian were getting a new male appendage, I would TOTALLY want to shop at the penis store. So it’s all fair.


1- Can’t touch this tumor – it feels like it’s no longer there.

2- I’m getting Barbie boobs.

3- Another confirmation that chemo is working makes all the trauma of it worth it.



About clevercopy

Professional copywriter, author, stand-up comedian and speaker

12 responses »

  1. Congratulations on all accounts!

  2. Ret Delia says:


  3. Linda Cahan says:

    This is all way too fabulous – SO happy for you, your tummy tuck, your new boobs – there has to be an upside to this besides not vacuuming 🙂

    Cahan & Company Retail Design Consultant, Visual Merchandising, Seminars & Training 503.638.6727 Pacific Time West Linn, Oregon

    Author of: 100 Displays Under $100, Book and PDF Visual Merchandising 101, The Basics of Excellent Presentation DVD Feng Shui for Retailers, the only book on Feng Shui just for the retail community

  4. Elita Hill says:

    Excellent news Jacki!
    A great week all-in-all. . .

  5. Elizabeth says:

    That’s grrrrrrrreat!!!!
    As one who’s got a belly boob, I can attest that my posture’s improved b/c I don’t slouch (no belly pooch), it beats liposuction, and no expanders required. 3 positives. Luv ya J!

  6. Julia Tomes says:

    Wow. Just wow. All of it. xo

  7. That all makes my heart sing for you guys! Yay!!!

  8. srbparish says:

    Jacki, this is great news. I can’t wait to see your new look! 🙂 We will be there the first week of April…. Hope it will work to have some time for a visit.

    Keep going! xo Joy

    Joy Panos Stauber Stauber Design Studio Inc. 312 572 9309

  9. Katie Todd says:

    Congrats on zapping the tumor!! You so rocked it. Big high five!! If you would like to do some kind of ‘goodbye my lovely breasts’ ritual I’d be happy to assist before the surgery.

    Hugs and congrats Katie

    Sent from iTelepathic phone

  10. Alli says:

    Best post EVER. And not just because of “penis store”. Although that is awesome.

  11. jeaninesemon says:

    Talk about good news. You’re moving right along. The angels are busy with you.

  12. jj says:

    HOT DAMN! that there is one awesome update, all around!

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