We knew this would happen. The kids would actually get along, form a bond and gang up on us. Today, they secreted a bottle of raspberry dressing out of the refrigerator and streaked their hands with it, screaming, “I’m hurt! Oh, my hand.” It’s my fault. I’m the one who said whoever draws blood first gets more screen time.

We’ve been spending a lot of time together, which has been very cool and exhausting being the cruise director. Every day, our activities end at 3 so I can get to radiation. My chest is just starting to look like someone bought a cheap leather purse in like 1974 and left it out in the sun ever since. It’s week four out of six, and I’m already thinking ahead to tweaking my business so I can be available for my kids. Finding out that Livvie was hurt and mad that I missed every field trip, every volunteer opp and her music performance did the trick. That’s not going to happen this year.

THREE POSITIVES:

1- Set up our Race for the Cure team! We’re AC/DT, the Abernethy Cancer Dream Team. Brian and the kids signed up too. We’re on for the no-pressure, un-timed walk.

2- Livvie got upset. I led her through some exaggerated yoga breathing. She refused, saying: “It’s a lot funnier when you do it.”

3- The kids played in the pool while Brian and I had an actual, uninterrupted conversation. Or, maybe they were plotting their next move?

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About clevercopy

Stand-up comedian, professional copywriter and public speaker

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