I feel it in my bones.

Enough to make my systems blow.

I’m radioactive. Radioactive.

Coincidentally, the Imagine Dragons song follows me around. I’m closing in on week three of the ultimate tanning bed session. My skin is red, but not too bad. But when I sneeze, I feel like I’m at a crab feast and I’m the crab. My sternum is going to snap open, I swear. Other than fearing my skin will erupt into flames, it’s a pretty good day around here.

THREE POSITIVES:

1- Took Livvie to the pool and met up with a bucket full of kids. Out of nowhere, she grabs my arm and says, “I love you, Mom.” Gosh. I’m lucky.

2- I got to read half a chapter of a Chelsea Handler book before getting interrupted. Good thing it’s so short.

3- Bought a fresh pineapple at Kruger’s. Not once did I worry about where it came from. Hawaii, duh.

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About clevercopy

Stand-up comedian, professional copywriter and public speaker

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