Some people must have gotten the wrong end of the turkey over the holiday. By Monday, they were in full road-rage mode. First, I pulled across a lane I thought was one way. An older “gentleman” in a Camry was far enough away to not hit me. Yet, he reacted like I sunk his battleship. Then, he took both hands off the wheel and gave me two, one-finger salutes. Really? One’s good. When I went to meet my client, he came in flustered after calling 911 because some dude jumped out of his car and came after him, fists flying. Whaa? In my mind, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” plays through the drama. I’m staying in my office today. Forget that.
1- Yesterday morning, Liv sobbed in the car: “You’re different since cancer. I miss you.” Holy crap, what do I do with that? Yeah, I’m different. Maybe you didn’t get upset during cancer and you’re getting upset now, I said. “That’s because I didn’t want you to DIE!” she screamed. Maybe it’s safer for her to cry about it now that I’m okay? I quickly slipped into Man Mode. “Let’s fix this,” I said. “We’ll have one mommy-daughter date every week.” She lightened up. To show her I meant it, I bought movie tickets and left a handmade card in her room expressing that we are going to do that starting this week. How is this a positive? Look what she drew on the card.
2- My friend Nicole, who is part of the Abernethy Cancer Mom Dream Team, is going in for surgery this week. So she’s one surgery away from finished! Please send positive her way. She’s a total spitfire, but still! Every positive thought helps.
3- I am looking so hot right now. I’ve got pink eye and a sinus infection. Hot AND sexy. After hitting the disease lottery, this is such small change it almost feels like a relief. Hot damn, I’m getting normal stuff now.
Was there a random weirdo moon out last night? We all woke up out of sorts. Brian and I jumped Steven’s case over his lackluster lunch-eating skills. Liv woke up whimpering and dissolved in a steady string of tears over the same subject. I started to get jumped up about the morning until I saw a bicyclist had been hit by a FedEx truck on Broadway. Suddenly, any problem I thought I had disappeared. All day, I’ve been hoping both people are okay. I would be devastated if I hurt someone in a car or any other way really. Deep breath. Keep moving.
1- Doctor #1: All clear. Everything looks good. Awesome.
2- Doctor #2: What do you mean you’re not taking that medication?I’m going to light up Doctor #3. But still, everything looks good.
3- While at Doctor #2, I ran into Doctor #1’s business partner/surgeon, who is apparently going through treatment. Cancer will pick anyone anytime, even a professional who helps people defeat cancer daily. She looked fab. Suck it, Weird Cancer Guy.
4- Bonus positive: This guy walks up to the table next to be at Starbucks. It’s empty except for some trash the lady before him left. He looks at me and says: “Is this table reserved, or did somebody just leave a mess?” That’s my new line to use at the kitchen table from now on. Feel free to baffle your children with restaurant words in a home environment.
Every time Brian goes out of town for a length of time, I bow down to single parents everywhere. How do you do everything, be everything, all the time? It’s been that kind of week. My car won’t get out of park. Unless you’re making out, it’s not a useful situation. Somehow, we’ve all gotten out of the house…daily. Even the dog’s out of sorts. Today I caught Lazy Dog standing on a side table like a show dog. Meanwhile, her skin allergies are raging. The house is a mess. Blah blah. But still, all of this has only produced a sore neck and stress headache. I heard myself telling my acupuncturist Tracie how happy I am to have normal pain.
1- Check up with radiology/oncologist today. So far, looking good. Really loved seeing everybody at Good Sam radiology. They took such great care of me.
2- Work is still coming in. In another post, I said I got new work. That doesn’t mean full-time employment, mind you. I’m still a freelance copywriter/brand strategist. So that means I am always looking for work from clients who don’t take the word “free” literally.
Coincidentally, the Imagine Dragons song follows me around. I’m closing in on week three of the ultimate tanning bed session. My skin is red, but not too bad. But when I sneeze, I feel like I’m at a crab feast and I’m the crab. My sternum is going to snap open, I swear. Other than fearing my skin will erupt into flames, it’s a pretty good day around here.
1- Took Livvie to the pool and met up with a bucket full of kids. Out of nowhere, she grabs my arm and says, “I love you, Mom.” Gosh. I’m lucky.
2- I got to read half a chapter of a Chelsea Handler book before getting interrupted. Good thing it’s so short.
3- Bought a fresh pineapple at Kruger’s. Not once did I worry about where it came from. Hawaii, duh.
It just hit me that today was so normal. I took Livvie with me to St. Honore Bakery, where we watched them make bread. Liv said, “It’s like his hands are dancing.” Then, she waited for me at the acupuncture office and drew a “Candyland” girl on the white board. Next stop: The paint and wallpaper store to change her gray walls to pink and aqua. Last: Lunch at Nicola’s with pita as big as the moon. I took Liv home after that, then reluctantly cruised to radiation by myself. It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to have days like this. But more importantly, to have a daughter like Liv. She’s such a cool person and budding designer. I loved her most definite taste while working with the designer at the paint store. Go girl!
1- When I told the radiation nurse that someone said the pain I experienced from only one treatment was in my head, she said, “That’s wrong. Everybody reacts differently.” So I’m not crazy. Today, the hotness cooled down really fast, which was great. I did find out I’ve actually got 33 treatments total, when I thought it was 30. Great, now I’ve only got 30 left.
2- Brian took Steven to a historic car race, the most under-attended, super-cool event in Portland. He saw a restored Studebaker race, which was the highlight.
3- To top off my super-girl day, I met Jackie with an e at Starbucks. Thinking about how Jackie set up two websites to help us just blows me away. The money raised from the sites and the auction Trina headed up added years back to my life. Thinking about that turned my day from ordinary to extraordinary.
I never thought I’d say this, but I actually look forward to going to meetings and hitting deadlines now. It’s what healthy people do. So I met with the communications director of Komen this morning to talk about writing survivor profiles, and it was great. Plus, I got a sneak peak of the “Who Will You Race For?” campaign marketing. (I’m the egghead in the middle.) I’m excited to walk in the race since I’m such a lame-o runner. Apparently, survivors are treated all special-like. Anyone want to walk it with me?
1- Tomorrow, my bud Steve is getting a drink named after him called “The Reverend.” That’s a whole new level of special.
2- Rolled around on the floor laughing with the kids and the dog for the best hour of my day.