Oh man, I’ve got 48 hours until stupidity hits. Chemo #5 is Thursday, so I have to get everything done that requires even a sliver of a brainwave. You know, things like balancing checkbooks, writing sentences, tying shoes. There’s also the race to get overwhelming things done like grocery shopping, putting away laundry and thinking. After round 4, I went to a coffee house. But all they had was pie. Breakfast pie, lunch pie, snack pie, pie pie. I felt like I was trapped in a Portlandia episode. I freaked out and left because I just wanted a cup of soup. Not pie in a cup. The scene repeated itself in the drink aisle at New Seasons. All I wanted was water. Not coconut, gluten-free, bamboo-essence water. Just freaking water. Getting overwhelmed just thinking about it.
1- Went on a walk with Brian today up to the volcano, Mt. Tabor, trying to sort out all the details of finishing this out, surgery and what life looks like afterward.
2- Took Livvie to the dentist. Hooray, no cavities!
3- Stayed out in the sun as much as I could today, waiting for spring.
People are asking questions. They started reading my book, Sass Mouth, and one word comes to their minds: “Disturbing.” Thankfully, that’s not the only word. They also say they enjoy the writing and that they want to give me a hug. (Thanks, Julia and Jon.) The thing is, they know me now. They know I am a happily married mother of two with a fairly flatline existence. If it weren’t for performing stand up every month, I’d be quoting more Alec Baldwin lines from 30Rock like the writer-geek that I am. I’m hoping the people who don’t know me at all get it that overcoming a bad set up can be done. Destiny can be redirected, and happiness truly is the best revenge. Word!
Never have I seen so much amazing women writer talent in one living room. A Portland writer named Sharon graciously welcomed a bunch of women writers into her home to read their pieces and get feedback. It was all in a national celebration for A Room of Her Own, a foundation that gives over $600,000 to support the work of women writers. Here’s the thing about AROHO: They understand that in order to write, you need CHILDCARE. That’s right, childcare can be a line item in your application to get money to write. I’ve always been honest about how I would use money like this, and it’s always involved childcare. I always wondered if that’s why I never received funding of any kind, other than my Visa. That’s one reason why I’m in the financial nightmare that I’m in right now.
I learned several lessons yesterday. One, don’t use Visa to fund your expenses while you write your book. Two, that it’s never too late to start writing. Many of the women poured themselves into careers their entire lives before they started writing. Some of the younger women have blasted into it. All of them – brilliant. One of the TIME OUT writers, Jillian Starr, especially amazed me. Whatever non-earthly ways she’s channeling the material, it’s working.
Thank you, Sharon, for having us all there. It was a soul-charging experience. To check out AROHO, go to: http://www.aroomofherownfoundation.org.