Exactly why my butt does look big in these genes

One of my friends asked me, Where are the three positives? I need them! Had to give blogging a rest after those shootings and contain my anger that something can’t be done about this? Sometimes too much freedom can be a curse.

On to Adventures in Cancer. I spent many hours with a geneticist last week trying to map out cancer in my family. Knowing this information is the difference between having over 60% chance of getting ovarian and 3%. Knowing exactly what gene we need to test for is the difference between a $3,400 test and a $400 test. A simple tell-all blood test doesn’t exist. So far, I don’t have the most accurate information. But my dad got on the scene and made a lot of calls, so now we’ve got Genetics…The Sequel. My aunt was a huge help as well. Stay tuned for that one. I will tell you that it’s a worthwhile thing to gather this information for your kids while people are still alive. But with HIPAA, you can’t get actual medical records, which is a total shame. Without medical records, we’re relying on memories. If we can get accurate information, we can find out the source of my cancer. But most importantly, we can determine if our kids are at high risk for cancer.

While that was happening, my hair was falling out like crazy. I would be eating lunch and became terrified it would flop into my soup or something. Trina to the rescue again! Tada! How do you like me now, Weird Cancer Guy?

THREE POSITIVES:

1- Cancer is eco-friendly. Who knew? Not having to wash your hair or shave is like the fastest shower evah.

2- Cancer saves electricity. Like I need a blow dryer now.

3- Chemo turns your head into velcro. Check it out. You can’t rip a hat off my head. Micro stubble creates a gravity-like force velcro so hats are there to stay!