A blog is supposed to be daily, but I just couldn’t hang after Round 4. The only way I know how to truly express the level of SUCK is to overuse the letter U. Here goes: Round 4 suuuucked. Every side effect took over from cranked up ear ringing to the complete inability to deal with anything. Even sleeping irritates me. My mouth feels like the inside of a sweaty 1970 Samsonite. Out of nowhere, my scalp erupts into blowtorch heat and beads of sweat. I’m constantly thirsty, but water tastes really bad and burns my throat. You suuuuck, Weird Cancer Guy. Good thing chemo has turned you from overweight fat man to sand. At the end of treatment, it will be worth it.

FOUR POSITIVES:

1- Sturkie Circle of Friends is on the scene. Look out Weird Cancer Guy, Trina is organizing an auction with our friends and you’re gonna get it. Trina also makes a mean smoothie – she made me a whole bunch. Those smoothies love me so much, except for that one calling me a tart.

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2- Ravens won! I still remember when Irsay, the owner of the Colts, creepily snuck the team out of Baltimore in the middle of the night. So happy to see my hometown win. Thanks, Anne and Max, for duding me up with Ravens gear! I felt too sick to go to a party, so we watched from home base.

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3- A totally sucky day got turned around yesterday when a box full of hilarity showed up from my friends Jen and Matt in New York. Who doesn’t need Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life and SPAM mints? Jen and I have been friends since shoulder pads were hot.

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4- Sari and I went to Look Good, Feel Better, a make up class sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Learned some valuable tricks, like I really should wear make up.

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About clevercopy

Stand-up comedian, professional copywriter and public speaker

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