Weird Cancer Guy and chemo spill into everything – even dreams. After Round 3, I dreamed that I was stuck back in my childhood in our house with no way out. I woke up feeling like someone picked up my past and pulled it all the way up to my chin like sheets on a bed. Round 4 churned up more fun. In my dream, I’m queuing up at an airline ticket counter when the ticket agent turns around – it’s a girl from eighth grade who stuffed death notes in my locker and tormented me on the bus for an entire year. In my dream, I say, “Where are you going to send me, Nicaragua?” Then, I woke up, heart pounding. Not her again. Last night, I dreamed I was at the Knight Cancer Center getting physically examined before chemo. The nurse sounded so delightfully surprised when she said, “We’re astounded at how fast the tumor grew back.” WHAT?! OH MY GOD! Can’t I dream about sex like everyone else? A nurse practitioner told me when you have bad dreams, go back to sleep and consciously change the dream. So that’s what I’ll try tonight – dreaming in techni-cancer-free color.
THREE POSITIVES:
1- Had a mommy-daughter date with Livvie to watch Life of Pi. Very cool movie. Glad we didn’t see it in 3D or I’d be seasick right now.
2- We’re babysitting a ping pong table. Thank you, Barrett! Looking forward to some epic battles and some screen-free activities for the kids.
3- The sun came out today. After getting the crap scared out of me by that dream, I was extra-happy to get out of bed and into the sun.
jacki kane 
Back in 8th grade? That is a nightmare I’d never wish on anyone! Hang in there.