Decision 2013

Up until now, treatment for this whole cancer thing has been direct. No getting out of chemo. Definitely surgery. But radiation caused screeching tires and emergency stops. There has been no clear answer whether I should do it or not. Today a group of national radiology/oncology experts looked at my case and voted YES for radiation despite no clear spread to lymph nodes, which typically green lights radiation. Our first thought was to keep calling around the country until we got enough NOs. “Ultimately, this is your decision,” my radiologist said. That’s the whole problem right there. It all comes down to Did I do enough to stay around for my kids? The study behind the YES answer comes from a group of 300 women getting a 10% better chance of survival. Every time I hear a statistic, I think of “Four out of five dentists recommend….” What was the fifth guy doing? I can’t escape the feeling that if the snarky Weird Cancer triple-negative buffoon Guy comes back, I will never forgive myself for not doing every single thing I could. So, I’m sucking in another breath and moving forward. Radiation it is.


1- If I keep going to Good Sam hospital every day, maybe I can get a job there.

2- Now I can finally open that 2013 calendar that is still laminated.

3- The kids just busted through the door.

5 Replies to “Decision 2013”

  1. You will come through it smashingly, darling. Kids are welcome here or if you want a buddy to go with you there, I’m here.

  2. did you get a chance to talk with Charlotte yet? She had so many tough decisions to make too. You are doing a great job Jacki, moving yourself through this and taking in all the information, must be so overwhelming. I have been holding you in a prayer of Divine Protection and love though it all. and a prayer for the perfect unfolding of your personal and spiritual growth and a career path that is so deeply and powerfully perfect for you and your family, and it only includes you being the absolute best mom you can be, just by being yourself, no matter how shitty you feel. You are so held sister.

    xo kt ps- email charlotte!

    1. Good thing I didn’t email her yet. Will do. Thanks for all positive. Funny everytime I start looking for full-time employment, Weird Cancer Guy shows up!

  3. Soooooo easy for me to say this, and I don’t know anything, but I’ll say it anyway:

    Good choice.

    How’s the money holding up?


    (503) 781-2872

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