Weird Cancer Guy isn’t going down easy. Yesterday, I felt like I had metal rods through my heart and throat with a rusty anvil in my stomach. I barely got up all day. Today’s only slightly better. My stomach and throat feel horrible. I'm thirsty, but even water makes me feel sick. When everyone leaves …
Hanging in there
Finally feeling relieved to clear the last chemo. Having a house full of flowers and congratulatory notes is so nice. Sari and I went for a good walk this morning. But I'm feeling heavier and sleepier now. Who knows how tomorrow will go. I see the light.THREE POSITIVES:1- Realizing I'm done with chemo.2- I mentioned …
What to tell your kids about cancer
They could have said no, but they didn't when I asked if they minded if I told our story to The Oregonian: http://www.oregonlive.com/kiddo/index.ssf/2013/03/when_parents_have_cancer_tips.html It's totally honest - and personal. My kids still wanted to do it. All day, I worried. Would kids at school make fun of them? It turned out the opposite. Steven's teacher brought in …
Doing something right
The first person who came up to me after the word spread that I got diagnosed with cancer was J, an 11-year-old friend of my kids. He said, "I heard the news and I'm really, really sorry." Then, he gave me a hug. One night, Olivia and a group of girls put on a play …
The boob shop and other miracles
Back in November when I found out about Weird Cancer Guy, I thought the possibility of fake boobs was a serious positive. That was before I realized surgery was involved. Plenty of people OPT to get fake boobs. But once we met with the plastic surgeon today and heard the whole run down, I was …
It’s Dalai Mama
Today not as good as yesterday. But I got to go to my friend Karen's house and wrap myself up in her red blanket. Coincidentally, the Dalai Lama is coming to Portland soon. And without even trying, I've captured the look! Nothing against the Dalai Lama, but I can't wait to look like myself again. …
Looking past check in
It's Tuesday. Check-in day for Brian and me. We went to Compote, a sunny little cafe where I got poached egg on kale and crispy hash browns. I'm too tired to make fresh food like that, but boy do I want it. He's anxious for me to come all the way out of this. Me …
Anywhere but in my body
Today, I had a choice: surrender or fight. I'm too exhausted to fight. I was upright a lot yesterday doing laundry, which probably killed my fight today. I've got all the usual suspects on my last nerves - sick stomach, hot-cold flashes, unquenchable thirst and a scalp that randomly erupts like a sprinkler. In an …
What else you got, Weird Cancer Guy?
Not that I really want to find out. But still, I'm wondering what's next. Will my fingernails pop open like trunk lids? Will I become 55% more agitated and annoyed? Or, will actual appendages just fall off? How about we start with my gut? I'm worried when I get a double mastectomy that my gut …
The race before stupid
Oh man, I've got 48 hours until stupidity hits. Chemo #5 is Thursday, so I have to get everything done that requires even a sliver of a brainwave. You know, things like balancing checkbooks, writing sentences, tying shoes. There's also the race to get overwhelming things done like grocery shopping, putting away laundry and thinking. …
jacki kane 