Jenkies, the dreaded Round 3 of chemo is tomorrow. I'm on steroids. My dog's on steroids. Now there are two bitches in the house. Good thing the kids are just dying to use their new "time out" superpowers. They're so going to need them. Each chemo round, the elevator drops lower and lower, making it …
Coming soon: Time out, Mom!
In the why-didn't-I-think-of-this-earlier department, I've authorized the kids to give me time outs. The last time I had chemo, they said, "Mom, chemo makes you grumpy and mean." Ruh roh. Well, it does. The steroids jack you up worse than a Mexican jumping bean under a heat lamp, and the chemo itself gives you a …
Goin’ Downton tonight
Finally! Downton Abbey is back. It's one of the TV ways I have found to make dealing with Weird Cancer Guy easier. While I'm at it, here are two other ways I find a mental vacation. Design-seeds.com sends out a daily, soothing dose of eye candy. Sign up for it - you won't be disappointed. …
“Make room for the unplanned”
Maybe it's from watching too many episodes of Gilligan's Island, but I learned a long time ago that island living isn't for me. When I saw the Obamas getting off Air Force One in Hawaii at Christmas, I decided island living could be for me like right now. But who knows how long it will …
This just in: Results of genetic test
The results are negative for two breast cancer genes, which means I have the same risk of ovarian cancer as everybody else. For some reason, an image of a too-happy mime juggling eggs (not invisible ones) is playing in my head. Next up, the PAL gene gets tested. That's the one that links breast cancer …
Fear has something to say
One night, I was in a coffee house in SW scouting locations for comedy open mic night when Bridget Pilloud came through the door. Our eyes met and we thought we were there to meet each other. I was there to meet a room; she was there to meet a client. So we introduced ourselves. …
Making Weird Cancer Guy work for me
I'm always wondering - how can I take advantage of cancer? What about my needs? If it's going to invade my body, the least it can do is pay rent. Here are the Einstein things I came up with:1- Figure out a way to sand the stairs...with my head.2- Use chemo as an excuse. Parking …
New Year’s Resolutions
1- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.2- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.3- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.4- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.5- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.6- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.7- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.8- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.9- Beat Weird Cancer Guy.10- Move on.THREE POSITIVES:1- Check out this rad restaurant we found in McMinnville called Community. Amazing food with words …
Operating hours
So I'm starting to learn I can only function until 3 pm, then I slump over. Today, I fell asleep standing up in SEARS small appliances. No one seemed to mind or notice. Spending this Christmas must have been good because the mall was wiped out. All I managed to find was a 50% off …
The eyelashes still have it
This morning, I woke up feeling like a bee exploded in my eye. It feels worse than it looks though. Plus, the eyelashes are intact. So take that, Weird Cancer Guy. Every morning feels like Wheel of Fortune...Bodily Function Edition. Who knows what you're going to get? Sometimes to counter the effect of Weird Cancer …
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